Ranking All the Steely Dan’s Songs

Steely Dan is in the running with Talking Heads, The Revolution, and REM for most the critically acclaimed American rock band of the twentieth century. So it is a little weird that an amateur like me would try to rank their catalog. My one and only qualification is that I love the band. Their original ’70s run may be the best run of records in the rock era. So, if you indulge me, hopefully, this exercise will bring in new folks who haven’t quite gotten hooked on the Dan and some Dan fans who want to remember and, of course, call foolish when I rank their favorite song too low. Anyway, I hope you enjoy the list. It was a labor of love.

Flawed Dan

85. West of Hollywood: Two Against Nature

This is a disaster of a song. It has some great musical elements, but it’s too long and, like much Two Against Nature, just sort of blah. It ranks lower than some of its brethren on that album because it’s also sort of incomprehensible.

84. Monkey In Your Soul: Pretzel Logic

Musically this is a fine song, lyrically woof. Also, you may notice I think Pretzel Logic, while a great album, is slightly overrated.

83. Sail the Waterway: B-Side

When I did this for Counting Crows, I labeled the bottom section “Bad Ones.” The issue is that Steely Dan doesn’t have bad songs in the traditional sense. Sail the Waterway is an example of this. It’s not a bad song per se. It’s just amateurish compared to the rest of Dan’s catalog. Which makes sense as it was b-side to their very first release.

82. The Last Mall: Everything Must Go

I think Everything Must Go is a little underrated. However, it does get off to sort of a rough start. The Last Mall is a good idea which they do better later in the album, but something about it is just off. The music and the lyrics are just subpar by Steely Dan standards.

81. Book of Liars: Alive in America

Steely Dan only put out one live record while Walter Becker was alive. So Book of Liars is a rare treat originally recorded on Becker’s solo record 11 Tracks of Wack. The studio version is better, but you get to hear Becker’s live vocals, which sound strangely like Warren Zevon, so that is pretty cool.

80. Glamour Profession: Gaucho

I originally had the last track on Gaucho as the final track on this list, which I admit is too harsh. But it does suffer from many faults that West of Hollywood does too long and too muddle. On the other hand, it does have some high points, especially early in the song, and does make sense, so it’s got that going for it.

79. Chain Lighting: Katy Lied

Becker and Fagen go into bluesy jazz a lot over their catalog. Chain Lighting is not a horrible example of this. It’s just a forgettable one except well it’s subject matter.

78. My Rival: Gaucho

Gaucho has some of the highest highs of the Dan catalog. Unfortunately, it also has some low moments. Like tune which much like Chained Lighting isn’t bad just is not memorable. Some of the Gaucho outtakes, most notably the tragically erased Second Arrangement, would have been a vast improvement if the demos are any indication.

77,76. Change of the Guard: Can’t Buy a Thrill, With a Gun: Pretzel Logic

Like many songs in this section, Change of the Guard and With a Gun are great musically. Too bad the lyrics and melody can’t cash in on that potential.

75. Everyone’s Gone to the Movies: Katy Lied

Everyone’s Gone to the Movies is a good song. Unfortunately, it’s also one the creepiest in American pop music history. I can note its craftsmanship while skipping it every time it comes on. That may be my problem, but this is also my list.

74. Everything You Did: Royal Scam

Much like 75, it’s hard to root for the narrator in this one, while that is usually a positive in a Steely Dan song. Everything You Did is a pretty barren story of a man who has found his partner cheating and is not taking it well. The slick production on Royal Scam does the song no favors either. It’s one you could see doing better with a rougher earlier era of the band takes.

73. Green Book: Everything Must Go

Nothing much happens in Green Book. I had it rated a little higher initially because it is a good idea for a song, and the groove is nice enough, but every time I tried to listen to it, I sort of zoned out. This is probably a metaphor for Steely Dan’s comeback records generally.

72. Third World Man: Gaucho

Third World Man feels like a band running out of gas a bit. It’s nice enough, but like a lot of the weaker tracks on Gaucho, it just never seems to go anywhere.

71. Negative Girl: Two Against Nature

Man, this sounds like a solo Sting song sung by Donald Fagen. It’s funny because Steely Dan influenced Sting, but sometimes on Two Against Nature, Dan sounds like they are copying their imitators. More of the same.

70. East St. Louis Toodle-oo: Pretzel Logic

It’s tough to rank this song, it’s good, and it does tie the album together, but it’s tough to put it above Steely Dan songs I like, so I’ve put it here. No one said this list would be scientific.

Other bands would kill for these songs

69. Here at the Western World: Greatest Hits

We are at the point where all these Steely Dan songs are good. Here in the Western World is pretty high quality for a nonalbum track. I would have taken it on Royal Scam over Everything You Did.

68. Gaslighting Abbie: Two Against Nature

Gaslighting Abbie has the same structural problems as the rest of Two Against Nature. It’s mid-tempo, the solo comes in at about three minutes, and sort of blends into the background. But lyrics and melody are better. Hell, even the obligatory guitar and sax solos have more fire in them. You can understand why they made this the first track in this set of songs. It may be background music, but it’s background music that I don’t want to turn off.

67. Janie Runaway: Two Against Nature

Janie Runaway feels like a distant cousin of Josie, like the classic Aja track Janie Runaway is a lot of fun. Unlike Josie, it does not quite have the hook to make it a top forty hit but enjoyable nonetheless.

66. Dallas: Single

The first song Steely Dan ever released and not their worst by far, the lyrics of this country tinge lost love song is more straightforward than their latter work. Even if it’s not a classic, the chorus and Jim Hodder’s vocals make it easy to listen to.

65. Two Against Nature: Two Against Nature

As you can see, we are having a bit of a run on Two Against Nature tracks. In my opinion, it’s their worst album. The title track’s musical hook is a lot of fun, and it’s a classic sort of mission statement from the band. It’s twice as long as it should be, which is why it’s this low on the list.

64. Blues Beach: Everything Must Go

My partner said they used to play this at the grocery store she worked at. She describes it as “a nerdy ass song that is fun in a nerdy way.”

63. Pearl of the Quarter: Countdown to Ecstasy

It took me a long time to realize “the Pearl” in this song was a prostitute. I am telling you this because I am dumb, so please don’t be mad at my list.

62. Jack of Speed: Two Against Nature

Some folks think this is the best song on Two Against Nature, I beg to differ, but I think it’s one of the few songs on 2AN you could find on a classic Dan record and not blink an eye.

61. Green Earring: The Royal Scam

Like many bands in the 70s, Steely Dan occasionally flirts with rock blues or blues hammer. Green Earring is one of these flirtations. Not the most exciting song in the world but with the level players that Steely Dan was using at the time, it didn’t matter. Green Earring is a juicy albeit plain piece of prime rib.

60. Parker’s Band: Pretzel Logic

Parker’s band is a whirling dervish of song that breaks neck pace. Check out that middle bridge and end solo almost note-perfect. Man Steely Dan was good.

59. Everything Must Go: Everything Must Go

Everything Must Go’s the title track is an excellent example of why the album is better than its predecessor. The idea is the same as the title track on Two Against Nature. Have a song that gives the audience a snapshot into the band’s state of mind. In this case, they are dissolving “the corporation in a pool of margaritas.” It works so much better. The solo is at the beginning and sounds like a happy new year for all gentlemen losers. The production is slicker than the rest of the album, making it sound even more regal. What shines over it is the vocal that may be his best of the comeback years. A fitting end to a brilliant career.

58. I Got the News: Aja

It’s telling that Aja is the last album to make the first appearance on this list. It is by most accounts the best Steely Dan album. It’s the worst song like its cousin Parker’s Band is a perfectly crafted if a little slight piece of jazz-pop.

57. Slang of Ages: Everything Must Go

Walter Becker vocal alert!!!!!! Slang of Ages is an excellent change of pace in the middle of a surprisingly solid middle section of Everything Must Go. The talk-sing chorus with all the snarky swagger of a classic dan right into the smoothest chorus you have ever heard. It would have been nice to have listened to a few more Becker lead tunes before the end, but at least we have this gem.

56. Turn That Heartbeat Over Again: Can’t Buy A Thrill

Becker and Fagen try to be Brill Building writers on their first album closer. You can imagine Three Dog Night doing a tacky version of this song about a botched robbery. The harmonies become more important than the tune at some points but still a fun ride.

55. Almost Gothic: Two Against Nature

Somehow Steely Dan gets more smooth on this song and works better than most of the album. If you want to have a fun time, look up fan theories of the meaning of this song. They are ridiculous, but they don’t matter. Almost Gothic is just a four-minute come on.

54. Night by Night: Pretzel Logic

There is a lot like about Night by Night the vocal is urgent and decisive and the guitar riffs make you feel like a plane is about to take off. The outsider message is quintessential, Dan. Not surprisingly a fun song to listen to at night.

53. Your Gold Teeth: Countdown to Ecstasy

This is not the best Your Gold Teeth, but it is a very good Your Gold Teeth. The chorus comes on you like a smooth wine, which is slower than its sequel. I think someone is leaving their lover on this one, but I have no idea what it has to do with avant-garde singer-composer Cathy Berberian.

52. Throw Back the Little Ones: Katy Lied

Another silly song to end an album, Throw Back the Little Ones, is slightly more structured and enjoyable than Can’t Buy a Thrill counterpart. It’s not higher because its lyrics are frivolous and offensive. Katy Lied may not be the best Dan album, but it is one of the most listenable. It makes it bizarre that the band hated production for so long. Although I am not a musical genius so maybe I’m missing something.

51. Cousin Dupree: Two Against Nature

Cousin Dupree is the best melody and music on all of Two Against Nature, but it’s also one of the creepiest lyrics in typical Dan fashion. Cousin kissing is one thing but the band to Zappa level lewdness in this one. Even so, it’s hard to turn off this earworm.

50. Haitian Divorce: Royal Scam

Haitian Divorce has many flaws of weaker Steely Dan songs, middle-of-the-road production, extended solo to nowhere at the end, and sort of no end or beginning. What saves it is excellent lyrics and a groove that just doesn’t quit.

49. Through With Buzz: Pretzel Logic

Through with Buzz seems to get a lot of hate by some critics. I don’t understand it. It’s short and a little strange, but it’s also a lot of fun, both the lyrics and the music. Slightly juvenile but in a good way.

48. Razor Boy: Countdown to Ecstasy

Steely Dan is a master of the tell-off song, and Razor Boy is one of their best. You think you’re great. You think you’re smart. You think you’re beautiful. Wait till the Razor Boys get you. Are the Razor Boys time? Are the Razor Boys losing? Are the Razor Boys Razor Boys? Hard to say but they are gonna get you.

47. Lunch with Gina: Everything Must Go

The longing for women on Steely Dan’s last two albums is pretty constant. That is why Lunch with Gina feels different. It’s about being trapped in a relationship, not idolizing one, slowly realizing you like it. One of the more brilliant lyric sets of their later period.

46. Daddy Don’t Live in that New York City No More: Katy Lied

Daddy Don’t Live in that New York City No More is one of the more fun R&B jams in Steely Dan’s career. They have a whole playlist of songs missing New York, but this is one of the few on the fence about it. They may not drive an El Dorado anymore, but at least they don’t have to lock their doors.

Great Dan

45. Godwacker: Everything Must Go

I have four songs from Everything Must go in my top fifty Dan songs. That alone should tell you that I think it’s a little underrated. What keeps it under their original run is it does not have a Classic Dan song. Having said that Godwacker is an example of an intelligent, musically exciting piece that would be the cult favorite if it was on their 70s output.

44. Charlie Freak: Pretzel Logic

As the name would suggest, Charlie Freak goes at breakneck speed, at least for Steely Dan. I have always thought that most of Steely Dan’s ‘drug songs’ were written Becker because of his drug addiction issues and their similar style to his solo work. Whoever wrote the lyrics they some of the most poetic in the entire Dan catalog. The sleigh bells are a nice touch too.

43. The Fez: The Royal Scam

The Fez is a silly song that seems even more ridiculous surrounded by Royal Scam, the most complicated, cynical, and high-minded set of Dan songs. The Fez is a good example of what Dan seems to do once an album. Throw in something light so the audience does not lose their minds. The Fez happens to be one of the most earwormy examples.

42. Pixeleen: Everything Must Go

I don’t know why I am so into this song so much. When the background singers come in, I’m always hooked. Every time I think about moving Pixeleen down, I remember Pixeleen rules.

41. What A Shame About Me: Two Against Nature

The only excellent dan song on Two Against Nature, not quite to the Deacon Blues heights but close. The level of introspection of the character in this song could have been used to affect the rest of the record significantly. Alas it wasn’t but at least we have this loser jam classic.

40. Rose Darling: Katy Lied

Micheal McDonald is all over Rose Darling. You could argue Steely Dan’s most remarkable instrument. His voice takes a pretty middle-of-the-road song about a prostitute and makes it essential.

39. Show Biz Kids: Countdown to Ecstasy

The folks in Show Biz Kids “wearing Steely Dan t-shirts” are probably fans. Much like almost all Steely Dan characters who seem like outrageous winners they are really just dressed up losers. That little guitar solo is tasty too.

38. The Boston Rag: Countdown to Ecstasy

Steely Dan was always smooth, but on Countdown, they sound earthier than they do elsewhere. The Boston Rag feels like wearing an old pair of old loafers and has a hell of a chorus. The lyrics are like a short novel. Pure Dan.

37. Fire in the Hole: Can’t Buy a Thrill

“And I myself am just another freak.” The character in Fire in the Hole is a quintessential Dan loser. The simple song ranks so high because it’s a tight summation of the band’s whole thesis, and it sounds good too.

36. Things I Miss The Most: Everything Must Go

Out of nowhere, Dan produces their last straightforward loser masterpiece. When the character starts saying he misses the most, this track soars.

35. The Royal Scam: The Royal Scam

Right from the beginning of The Royal Scam, you know you are in for an epic time. Every slithery line whips you deeper and deeper into the story till, at last, you succumb to the glory of the royal scam.

34. Your Gold Teeth II: Katy Lied

Who says the sequel is never better than the original.

33. Midnite Cruiser: Can’t By A Thrill

I think I’m a bit of a sucker for Jim Hodder’s voice. I can’t for the life of me understand why Steely Dan didn’t have him take the lead on at least one song an album. Cruiser would sound perfect on 70s AM radio. I guess a little bit too perfect.

32. Bodhisattva: Countdown to Ecstasy

This little rocker was supposedly written by Donald Fagen alone. Countdown to Ecstasy might have fared better on the charts if Bodhisattva were the first single.

31. Kings: Can’t Buy A Thrill

Supposedly Steely Dan dumbed down many of their songs to make them more sellable on their first album. You would never know it from listening to Kings, a song maybe about a medieval king, maybe about JFK and Nixon. Either way, not top forty material. It’s too intelligent and stylized to be sellable, but somehow it is, and that’s the magic of Steely Dan.

Classic Dan

30. King of the World: Countdown to Ecstasy

We are to point in our program where to songs are brilliant. It’s hard to imagine anyone but Steely Dan producing King of the World. In contrast with the rest of Countdown King of the World heads in the direction of Steely Dan’s classic sound as heard on Aja or Royal Scam. With its tempo changes, sci-fi lyrics, and wild electric piano, King of the World is already there.

29. Only A Fool Would Say That: Can’t Buy A Thrill

The songs on Can’t Buy A Thrill have more in common with mainstream radio than on Steely Dan’s other records, but it does not mean they aren't great. When I first heard Only A Fool Would Say That, I thought it was the perfect song. It sounds classic, like a couple of veteran pop songwriters crafted it. Donald Fagen was 24, and Walter Becker was 22 when it was released.

28. Gaucho: Gaucho

The sax solo at the beginning of Gaucho supposedly took ages to record. It was worth it. Gaucho is Steely Dan’s smoothest record, and its title track may be their smoothest song. The perfectionists would soon tear each other apart, but Gaucho proves they still had some moments of bliss right until the end.

27. FM: Soundtrack to the Movie FM

FM, the soundtrack song between Aja and Gaucho, is pure Steely Dan bliss. No static at all.

26. Brooklyn (Owes The Charmer Over Me): Can’t Buy A Thrill

I will admit I like Dan Palmer’s vocals. Some super dan heads have disdain for any song not sung by Donald Fagen, but it’s hard to think of a better song for Palmer’s voice than this nostalgic ode to the band’s beloved New York City.

25. Aja: Aja

Seeing this song live recently made it clear that I had underestimated it. I always had peg (pun intended) it as more craft than great songwriting. A piece that is almost impossible to play in real life. Aja is why I think the Dan gets so much respect in the jazz world. It’s a musician’s song, but more than that, with its soaring chorus and glorious syncopation, it’s also a great pop hit.

24. Babylon Sisters: Gaucho

Sleazy is a word use often when describing Steely Dan, and no song is sleazier than Babylon Sisters. But it also represents the pinnacle of their perfectionist tendencies as songwriters. It’s one of two songs on Gaucho that Becker and Fagen didn’t play an instrument on. Bernard Purdie and Chuck Rainey are back as the rhythm section. Patti Austin, Diva Gray, Lani Groves, Lesley Miller, and Toni White immaculate backing vocals. Tom Scott’s fantastic arrangement. I have not even gotten to Clavinet or Guitar. Babylon Sisters is proof that it took a village to make latter-day Steely Dan songs great.

23. Don’t Take Me Alive: Royal Scam

Don’t Take Me Alive has no right to be this good. It takes too well tread aspects of Steely Dan songs blaring rock guitar and shootouts and turns them on their head. For all those that claim that Steely Dan was only lite Jazz in their later years, Don’t Take Me Alive is a strong rebuke.

22. Barrytown: Preztel Logic

Becker and Fagen hated being accused of being political, and Barrytown stood guilty. Barrytown is so direct that it’s hard to escape its message, especially today.

21. Sign in Stranger: Royal Scam

Man, the first side of Royal Scam is almost perfect. Sign in Stranger is another slab of Sci-Fi perfection reportedly about a planet of criminals.

STEELY DAN’S GREATEST BAND IN THE WORLD CASE

20. Preztel Logic: Preztel Logic

Pretzel Logic, the album, and the song are turning points for the band. It’s hard to imagine the band that made Can’t Buy A Thrill recording it, and well, it’s not the same band. The Dan was using session players to augment and replace the original band by this point. Pretzel Logic is still based on the blues but swings like great Jazz. This band was more than it seemed.

19. Dirty Work: Can’t Buy A Thrill

Steely Dan never liked the recording of Dirty Work or much of Can’t Buy A Thrill. They once claimed the song had no excellent recording, a song which had many cover versions. Not to disagree with musically geniuses, but Dirty Work is perfect. Palmer’s vocals and hazy production give heart to the subject matter, which is harsh. A trick that the Dan would use many times over later in their catalog.

18. Black Friday: Katy Lied

Black Friday is the best rocker along with Reeling in The Years in Steely Dan’s entire catalog. The imagination of “gray men” jumping from a high rise makes it one of Dan’s most political songs. Black Friday is not a sad day. It’s a celebration.

17. Time Out Of Mind: Gaucho

This has to be the only blatant song about the joys of heroin that is also a top forty hit. Time Out of Mind to use the terminology of our time is a bop. So you find yourself singing along to the part about chasing a dragon regardless of its meaning.

16. Do It Again: Can’t Buy A Thrill

The first song on the first album. When you hear the first notes you know that Steely Dan is a band like no other.

15. “Any World (That I’m Welcome To)”: Katy Lied

A distant cousin to Home At Last, Any World is not as buried in metaphor, but the loser leaving town theme is the same. It’s a song about searching in a world where you don’t belong. Michael McDonald makes another cameo to make the chorus soar. In Home at Last, the narrator has found his destination in Any World he is still searching for it.

14. “Josie”: Aja

In the documentary for Aja, Donald Fagen pointed out Josie as a song he was pleased about, “a real R&B tune.” Josie is a stunner of a tune and one of their best singles. It’s also one of the songs that could be released today and still be a hit. It’s timeless.

13. “Any Major Dude”: Pretzel Logic

Any Major Dude is a sweet tune for a band known for being sarcastic. It’s the song you can play to a Steely Dan agnostic and win them over. Songs like Any Major Dude show the band’s depth, even if the tune is simple.

12. “Home At Last”: Aja

Steely Dan’s work is dominated by the theme of being homesick for New York and hating LA. By the time Aja was recorded, they were actively splitting their time between the coasts. Could “Home At Last” be one more ode to NYC while taking one more shot at Hollywood?

11. “The Caves of Altamira”: The Royal Scam

Speaking of Hollywood, in The Caves of Altamira, the narrator is describing a time before the camera ever turned on or the stars ever came out. Fagen once said that he could only write from his own experience, while Walter Becker could have been a short story writer. It’s almost impossible to figure out who the lead writer is on most Steely Dan songs, but the “Caves” lyric feels like a Walther Becker classic.

10. “My Old School”: Countdown to Ecstasy

My Old School was one of the first Dan songs I ever got into. Later, I dated someone who went to William & Mary. It took on new meaning when she broke my heart a few years later. At least it’s hard to cry when the chorus starts soaring.

9. “Hey Nineteen”: Gaucho

Hey Nineteen is the Mount Olympus of Steely Dan sleaze. It reads like an article canceling a 2000s rock star. But, of course, the writing is impeccable. It’s a pick-up line, but it’s also an existential crisis. Would Steely Dan get away with the subject matter today? It does not really matter; even the most hardened modern listener can’t help but sing along.

8. “Black Cow”: Aja

Black Cow could be my favorite opening line in the Dan catalog, another classic tell-off by the band. It’s a basic song about a relationship gone wrong, but the greatness is just the details. We know everything about this ex-lover’s “remedies”. They are so outrageous.

7. “Bad Sneakers”: Katy Lied

Here comes Michael McDonald again. Actually, this may be my favorite opening line in a Steely Dan song. You can hear the narrator slowly losing his mind as the song goes on. Is it about the Vietnam Vet? Is it about Donald Fagen missing New York? Or is it about Walter Becker in rehab? We will probably never know for sure, but what we do know is that it’s great.

6. “Rikki Don’t Lose That Number”: Can’t Buy A Thrill

Donald Fagen’s come-on to the wife of a college professor is really the single that put Steely Dan into a new stratosphere. Rikki is sophisticated. It is really hard to imagine any of Dan’s contemporaries pulling it out. From this point on, Steely Dan is not only popular but also the most critically acclaimed band United States.

5. “Kid Charlemagne”: The Royal Scam

Kid Charlemagne is a character out of time, and the song again feels like a mini-novel. Like Rikki, no one other than Steely Dan could have created this masterpiece. Fading youth, the end of the ’60s, and a drug bust — it’s like if Eagles’ “New Kid in Town” was written by Hunter S. Thompson. It’s a technicolor dream of a song.

4. “Doctor Wu”: Katy Lied

I will admit that Doctor Wu is a personal favorite of mine, and I might have it five or six spots too high. The general sadness of the main character really got to me when I first started getting into Steely Dan, and the musical progression is one of the best in the entire catalog. Also, Phil Woods’s saxophone solo is perfect.

3. “Reeling in the Years”: Can’t Buy a Thrill

Man, the spite in Donald Fagen’s vocals. The intense push of this song. You know it from note one, and it does not let up until it ends. Did I mention the spite? Reeling in the Years is one of the most acidic sets of lyrics in the history of pop music, and man, that guitar riff.

2. “Peg”: Aja

Peg and the number one on this list are in a battle for Steely Dan’s most significant single, a perfect slice of Jazz-Pop cool. Here we have all the hallmarks of a classic Steely Dan song: ideal production, perfect solo, chorus hook that never leaves your brain, and, of course, Michael McDonald. “Peg” is Steely Dan at its pop best.

1. “Deacon Blues”: Aja

Let’s be honest: Aja has some great songs; Aja still stands out for a band with many outstanding records. Deacon Blues is just the epitome of everything that Steely Dan is about. While other bands have their biggest hit as their best song, Steely Dan’s top track is something much deeper. It feels like a Becker and Fagen thesis statement: perfect production, perfect playing, perfect Lyrics, and just the perfect loser as the subject. Deacon Blues is the synthesis of everything that the Dan did, and it also happens to be their best song.